I'm losing it. I feel like life became a lot harder. I feel that it's harder to maintain friendships.

It's really hard for me to be positive all the time and I wish someone appreciated it.

Lately I can't see the rewards of being a good person.

i have issues.

i think i'm good at making something out of nothing. it's not really a big deal. didn't i do this a few years ago?

i pretty much fail as a fucking person, but you know, whatever. it doesnt do much good to fucking hate my fucking self but fucking, i can't shake myself.

i can't get out of this and that is a problem. i'm trying to be a better person, but didn't i say this countless of times in the last four or five years? shockingly, or expectedly, i haven't changed at all from the person everyone hated. furthermore, it appears that i can't stay friends with anyone for long, and my best friend doesn't even seem to want to hang out with me. well victoria, what are you going to do now?